Positive Singing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Good Morning! Even in the rain, it's a good morning....
Feeling good today.
A good friend, Lica, sent me this the other day and I really think its something everyone should see if you haven't already.

Talk about Positivity is Power.

Speaking of......the Relay for Life event is this coming Friday, the 24th. If you haven't visited the site and you want to sign up for team Positivity is Power 2 or to make a donation to either Positivity is Power, Positivity is Power 2, or to buy a luminaria; please go to http://www.relaygalveston.com/. The deadline to do this on Tuesday the 21st. They have asked me to speak at the event and begin the reading of the luminarias. I am honored. I just have to tell my story. I think I can do that and if I picture everyone to be 6 or 7 like my first grade class, I think I'll do fine.

So, we are into week five of Sutent. I am truly feeling good. I don't think you would ever know if you saw me. The pain and nausea is so infrequent and I am doing a pretty good job staying on a schedule...something I've never been super at. Eating is nothing exciting these days...same cereal in the morning, same PB & J sandwich for lunch, and something different but safe for dinner. Its worth it though! I think that helps a lot and so does all the rest I am getting too. I don't see Dr. B until the 12th and I am hoping that I will be feeling as well as I do now so that I won't need to take any breaks.

Love and thanks to all!

From the Daily News

This left me speechless.

From the Galveston Daily News –

Relay For Life is still here after Hurricane Ike By Lisa Velasquez Contributor

Published April 12, 2009 GALVESTON — I’m a cancer survivor. I’ve beaten the odds, and I just marked 10 years of being cancer-free.This past year, I learned another important survivor lesson, as did so many of us who call Galveston home.I’m a survivor of a different kind now — there are so many of us who lost so much, including hope, Sept. 13.But we’re strong people. We didn’t give up. We began rebuilding, not just our lives, but rebuilding hopes — as we work toward the return of our beloved island.We hope for a better tomorrow. So does the American Cancer Society in its fight against cancer.Thirteen regional divisions and local offices in 3,400 communities and millions of volunteers, including everyone involved with Relay For Life, are building hope.I’m proud to support the ACS by participating in Relay For Life, the No. 1 nonprofit fundraising activity in the world, celebrating its 25th anniversary.The Relay kicks off with a celebration of cancer survivors.There are more than 9 million cancer survivors in the world today, and we honor those courageous people in our community.This year, Frank Billingsley, of KPRC-TV in Houston, will be on stage to celebrate our survivors and kick off the official first lap.The Survivor lap has always held special meaning for me.It reminds me of why I became involved in Relay: to celebrate the fact that I’m still on Earth, even after I heard those three dreaded words, “You have cancer;” also to honor my husband, who was fighting cancer at the time and lost his battle.That lap reminds me that it’s possible to inspire others through actions, that what I do as a cancer survivor may impact another person who might be beginning their fight. Never underestimate the power actions can hold to someone who needs to hear “It’s going to be OK. You’re not alone.”The most moving and memorable part of Relay For Life is the Luminaria Ceremony, beginning at dusk.Survivors and those we’ve lost are honored at this unique ceremony.Paper bags bearing the names of loved ones line the track, filled with sand and a candle.The overhead lights are dimmed, and names of those lost to the disease are read aloud.These beautiful tributes provide hope that we can find a light in the darkness that is a cancer diagnosis.Relay is a family-friendly activity, with games, fundraisers and entertainment.I’m urging the entire Galveston community — whether you live, work or volunteer here — to join us at Relay For Life of Galveston Island at 6 p.m. April 24 at Moody Gardens.It provides an opportunity for the community to join as one in the fight against cancer.Celebrate hope right here on Galveston Island.If you can’t attend, please consider a donation in support of this event.For information, visit relaygalveston.com.Cancer doesn’t stop for a hurricane. Neither can we.Lisa Velasquez lives in Galveston.

It's Been A While

I haven't written anything in a while. Don't worry, the chemo is DEFINITELY still working!!! So much seems to be going on around me that I find myself "sucking it up" and trying to help problem solve for others. I have friends who have babies who are at Texas Children's and I have friends whose parents are dying and I have friends whose lives are still ripped apart from Ike. As cheesy as it may sound....they need my positivity mixed in with their own. And I am happy to have the energy to give. So I find my self going to work, going home or visiting with these friends, and going to bed.
No I have not been on Chemo for 4 months. Dr. Benjamin was hoping for that, but my little engine that can sort of steamed out for a while there. Beginning of March some weird things happened. At that point I had been on this Sutent for nearly two months and my body had decided it had enough. And I am not talking about my hair that turned white. Interesting and quite freaky, but fixable. No, my blood pressure dropped very low and my face and chest turned a pinky red and I was VERY grumpy, TIRED, and sick. So we stopped for 3 weeks. And after a few days I felt great. I went to South Lake Tahoe with family and I had a blast. I was able to sleep and eat normally....and I drank like a good little catholic would too! By March 20th I was ready to start this Sutent again. My body, mind, and spirit had truly healed and I wasn't so scared since I then knew what to expect. One day at a time, right? That's the way to do it. I don't worry about the side effects. I think if you think about them too much, it will surely happen. Positive thinking remember?
So here we are.....week 4. I love my hair. It's like brown then white, then brown. I'll have to fix that before Easter services. I can't have the Cardinal seeing that. Hee Hee. So far for the most part I have been fine. I can tell when I have over done it though. At school this week, we had ITBS testing and we also made Easter bags and dyed eggs and had an egg hunt and....and...and. So needless to say by Thursday I was wiped out. This weekend is pretty full too, but I plan to rest in between.
RELAY FOR LIFE!!!! This is on April 24th! Please join my teams. Positivity is Power and Positivity is Power 2. I met this sweet young guy (well not yet in person) named Chris Sanderson. He is so positive and enthusiastic and he was recently diagnosed with RHABDO Sarcoma. He is a police officer down here and he is still working in between his treatments. Well, he is just a joy to talk to. Kind of reminds me of a younger version of me. He is on the Relay for Life team too. Just another reason you'd want to be apart of this. Go to www.relaygalveston.com to see more info about this incredible event. Think of survivors you know. And of those that you hold a special place for in your heart for they lost their own fight. This is whi this event is for. Finding the cure. Fighting the cancer. Supporting the cause. Really, thank you so much for all of your donations and support. Thank you for wearing my bracelets too! That means so much to me!!Your power and enthusiasm is half the battle and in my "darkest hour" it helps keep me fighting.
I go back to the doctor on the 12th of May. I will have more testing to see how this chemo is working and also an MRI on my right thigh. I have these severe pains in it and the CT didn't show anything. It may be a phantom nerve and it only happens when I am on the chemo (I never once had the pain during the 3 week break). So hopefully this will tell us more. For those of you that have to drink 2 tall bottles of barrium......try mixing the berry and banana flavors. Seriously! I have had enough barrium parties to say that mixing it helps it go down so much easier.
Till then,
CARPE DIEM!

Really, I must say that I can't believe I haven't written that............

THE CHEMO IS WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The tumors are visually shrinking. I will continue chemo for 2 to 6 more months....no breaks. Just a pill....every night....for the next 2 to 6 months.
I have been on a roller coaster. Sometimes I want to get off the ride. But I want to be cancer free. I want to continue to be cancer free! I remind myself that all the time. I remind myself that when I am rudely awoken (my body) in the middle of the night several times. I remind myself that when the pain is ouch ouch ouch. And I remind myself, when I have to rely on others to help me get through the day. However, when it comes to food......and I do love food...I wish I could remind myself so that I don't eat the things I do. Bland, bland, bland. I must focus on bland. Dr. Benjamin said I can work. I will keep working because I love what I do, I love my students, and I love feeling productive in this crazy world. I can't say much more at this moment. I will write more later. Feel free to ask me questions.

Thursday I awoke before 5am with a headache. Took two Darvon and went back to sleep. When I woke up about an hour later it was still there, but only a faint trace of it lingered. So I showered and went to work. I had my hair pulled back...as I always do. Its at that weird growing back stage and that can be pretty annoying at times. My headache was getting worse as the morning moved on. I thought it was just the pony tail so I took the band out. When I went to the school nurse to have my daily Blood pressure reading and temp, it was pretty high. By the time my husband came to get me (its a wonder how he didn't get a speeding ticket) my BP had reached 170/110 and my head was pounding worse than I had ever felt in my life! So off to the ER we went.
We went to the Mainland ER. Sean was concerned that MD Anderson was too far away at this point. They took my BP and whew!! It was 206/126. Nope, not good. I told them I was on Chemo and that this was listed as a common side-effect. I am on BP medicine, but the dosage is very low. They gave me demmorrall (spell check that) and phenogren. Instantly my Migraine was going away and my BP went down. They did a CT Scan and an x-ray and all came back fine. I left with instructions to rest over the next couple of days. I have put in a call to Dr. Benjamin's office about raising my BP medicine and the pharmacist suggested that I take one pill in the am along with the one a take at night so that I am at least getting 20mg. What a scary day. And what a head-ache. I have since spoken to Dr. Benjamin and he increased the dosage. He said to really watch my BP for 48 hours and to call him right away if it doesn't go down.
I will keep you updated. Just continue those prayers.

This IS working!! Still visualizing the Sutent to be attacking the tumors.
I also ordered new bracelets. They are pretty close to the same as the ones before, but I got the band to be blue and the phrase to glow so that the band doesn't loose its "luster" so to speak. The phrase Positivity is Power glows in the dark. Why does is glow? Because....in your darkest hour....read those words and know that you are not ever going to be alone in the dark. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how deep that tunnel can get. Always a light. I am selling them for $2. All proceeds go to the Sarcoma Foundation. Please help. I have small, medium, and large. PLEASE help the foundation.

Feeling

Some days are good and some days are not so good. Yesterday was not so good, but today is better. I am 14 days into my Sutent. Still visualizing the attack against my tumors. Yesterday was a day of nausea amongst other things but today is better. You know that feeling you get after you have been feeling so sick and all of a sudden you feel better??? I have that feeling now. Its almost like a high that you get....full of peace and happiness. I can relax. I am happy. I don't like how sad I feel when the medicine makes me feel sick that day. Only 13 more days!!!

I am thankful for my team at school....not just my amazing 1st grade team, but my whole team. I don't know what I would do if they didn't look out for me! I am thankful for my mommy in law who sent me one of those funny snuggly things that you have being seeing on those info-mercials lately. Its pretty cool......and snuggly. I am thankful for my dad who keeps calling me to make sure I am okay and that I am checking my blood-pressure daily. I am thankful that the school nurse does that for me!!! Go Mary! I am thankful for my "back-yard" neighbor for whom I have no idea what I would do without her love and kindness. Her boyfriend is pretty amazing too...he even washed my car the other day! And lastly....Sean. He is doing well. He is having to put up with me. He does so well with the days of ups and downs. He is truly amazing. He makes me laugh. He makes me eat. He makes sure I take my medicine. He checks on me all the time just to make sure I am alive and kicking. He makes me feel loved.

Carpe Diem! Go out there and hug that person that you have been meaning to hug.

The ZZZZZZZ's

It is almost 2pm. I think the day has strolled along and I can't think of the last time that I was so tired. Baaaam!!! So chemo has finally begun its toll. I am watching as our aid helps with the students. Its loud in here, but incredible. They are learning about the difference (subtraction) as they play banker. I should be so excited, but I am so tired. At this point I am tired of being tired....and its no where close to "hitting the hay" time! I have felt the nausea off and on too, but for the most part, it has been ok.
I know I can keep this up. It is worth it as I continue to visualize the Sutent attacking the tumors. Did I mention that the tumors no longer have names? A sweet friend of mine said that in naming them, you give energy - existence - power. No way are these guys getting anymore of that!!

Tired But Going Strong Into Day 2 1/2

Wow! So I feel better than I thought I would. I am pretty fatigued and have a horrible headache, but I am at work right now and feeling pretty strong. I am even remembering to drink lots of water, eat often, and stay moisturized/hydrated. Compared to other things, this is pretty simple and quite preventative. I am visualizing the Sutent to be attacking the blood vessels that are feeding into the tumors.

Sutent in the Mail

Who knew that chemo could be delivered in the mail? I started Sutent last night. Its a red and gray capsule. It was very surreal taking it that way. It seems to lesson the blow....the fear....but in the back of my mind I know - it's still chemo. Though this time it will be the cure. I was confused as you are probably now when Caremark (pharmacy that my insurance uses) called. Dr. Benjamin had figured that we would not be starting until late January because we were waiting on approval from my insurance. Each round last 28 days. I take one pill a day. Cost? Just over $8,000. Thank goodness my copay is only $35. There isn't much that the doctors know about the true side effects from this chemo. They know that it may increase my blood pressure, make me tired/fatigued, nauseous, and that I have to stay away from grapefruit products. Basically, a bland diet and lots of water. I also can't touch hot water. Sean is changing the temp gage on the heater for me. So how do I feel? Okay so far. Since it can make you tired and and nauseous we decided to start last night as opposed to this morning. I slept fine and I feel fine. I do have medicine that I am taking to keep any unforeseen nausea under control. So each night I will take yet another pill. I finish this cycle on the 22nd and we will see Dr. Benjamin on the 29th instead of the 5th. Speaking of that date....I will be seeing more doctors on that day in Feb. about my stint and my previous surgery. On a side note: I have been thinking about my New Years Resolutions. I don't have any yet, but I know that I need to do something about my phone and email. I haven't been great about returning mail or calls since Ike. But I think of you and I know that I owe you a call or better - a visit.

Beginnings

So a new year will bring new beginnings for me. New Chemo that is. You can say that 500 more times and it isn't going to make me any more ready than I am right now. Fear? Check. Unsure? Check. Ready? Check. I hardly know anything about the process and the effects, but I am ready. After all...I told God that he could have two years of my time, but then he had to give it back. March 17th will be 2 years. It is called Sutent (sunitinib). It is a pill that I will take daily so that's pretty cool. No catheter means I can stand upright when I shower and we won't have to clean it all the time either. Their main concern is my blood pressure. This medicine will attack the veins around my tumors in my lungs. I am am on a small dosage of blood pressure med now. They will increase the dosage once I start on Sutent. There are more possible side effects, yes, but we are just going to wait and see. I do better not focusing on all of the "what-ifs". Jan 6th. That day we will meet with my oncologist, Dr. Benjamin to get more information. I feel like I have so much more that I want to say though I am really not in the mood to write at this moment. It is cold down here in my "office" and I am hungry. Feeling? Happy to have finally started this blog on blog spot. Excited for my brother to be coming in just 2 more days. Elated that my Uncle called and invited us to go skiing in Tahoe in March. Nervous that my oncologist will say no to skiing and to Tahoe. Lucky. Simply lucky. Lucky in love. Lucky to be loved my my husband, family, friends.