Beginnings

So a new year will bring new beginnings for me. New Chemo that is. You can say that 500 more times and it isn't going to make me any more ready than I am right now. Fear? Check. Unsure? Check. Ready? Check. I hardly know anything about the process and the effects, but I am ready. After all...I told God that he could have two years of my time, but then he had to give it back. March 17th will be 2 years. It is called Sutent (sunitinib). It is a pill that I will take daily so that's pretty cool. No catheter means I can stand upright when I shower and we won't have to clean it all the time either. Their main concern is my blood pressure. This medicine will attack the veins around my tumors in my lungs. I am am on a small dosage of blood pressure med now. They will increase the dosage once I start on Sutent. There are more possible side effects, yes, but we are just going to wait and see. I do better not focusing on all of the "what-ifs". Jan 6th. That day we will meet with my oncologist, Dr. Benjamin to get more information. I feel like I have so much more that I want to say though I am really not in the mood to write at this moment. It is cold down here in my "office" and I am hungry. Feeling? Happy to have finally started this blog on blog spot. Excited for my brother to be coming in just 2 more days. Elated that my Uncle called and invited us to go skiing in Tahoe in March. Nervous that my oncologist will say no to skiing and to Tahoe. Lucky. Simply lucky. Lucky in love. Lucky to be loved my my husband, family, friends.