Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I'm A Canvas

I saw the surgeon at Mda today. Our appointment was at 9am. We saw him closer to 1pm and then I had a pulmonary test at 3pm. A long day and a lot of waiting, but all in great hands and great company. My surgeon's name is Stephen Swisher. Sweet. :-)
I really like him and I wanted to share some info about him too.
Bio:
Department Chair, Department of Thoracic and Cardiovascular Surgery, Division of Surgery, The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center, Houston, TX
Professor, Department of Thoracic and Cardiovascular Surgery, Division of Surgery, The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center, Houston, TX
Robert F. Fly Professorship of Surgical Oncology, Department of Thoracic and Cardiovascular Surgery, Division of Surgery, The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center, Houston, TX
Bio Statement:
Dr. Stephen Swisher is Professor and Chair of the Department of Thoracic and Cardiovascular Surgery. Internationally recognized for his contributions to the staging and treatment of esophageal cancer and innovative translational research, Dr. Swisher devotes his efforts to clinical practice and research.
Born in Brooklyn, New York, Dr. Swisher received a bachelor’s degree in history and biology from Stanford University in 1982 and a medical degree with honors from the University of California at San Diego Medical School in 1986. He interned and completed a general surgical residency at the University of California at Los Angeles, where he received the Golden Scalpel Chief Award. In 1994, he became a cardiothoracic surgery fellow at St. Luke’s Episcopal Health System and The University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center, both in Houston.
Dr. Swisher joined the faculty at M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in 1995 as junior faculty associate in the Department of Thoracic and Cardiovascular Surgery. A year later, he was promoted to Assistant Professor of Surgery. He was promoted to Associate Professor in 2001, Professor in 2005, and Department Chair in 2007.

Now why am I a canvas? Dr. Swisher wrote 'yes' and signed it with his initials underneath my left shoulder blade for my up coming surgery on Thursday, December 16th. He then gave Sean a “skin writing pen” so that Sean can touch-up when the writing comes off. Not for Sean to draw crazy things when he thinks I am not paying attention! Though he has crafted some incredulous ideas even for him. I am ready for this surgery, but I sure do have a list of things I (but I really mean Sean) will have to get done before then. ☺ Finish shopping, wrapping, start and complete like 3 weeks worth of laundry, sending out Christmas pictures…. Well the latter may never happen in all reality, but none the less its on my list of to-dos.
We will call the night before to find out what time surgery is. It will be a 2 ½ hour surgery. Dr. Swisher will make a 4 inch horizontal incision below my left shoulder blade. He will move the muscle over and go in between two of my ribs. This is the best way, because they will not only be able to see all of the tumors, he will also have an easier time getting to the nodules that are lower. I will be in the hospital around five days and then I will get to go home. There were other options about surgery, but this is really the best plan – to have two surgeries like this; one for each lung.
So am I ready? Ready as I’ll ever be! I’m excited about being another step closer to NED and I know that I am in the best of hands.

Positivity is Power!!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Path to freedom and more surgery



Sipping coffee again.... but not in a green chase lounge. More like a straight back brown chair at my favorite coffee house in the world, Mod. Before my brain becomes jumbled even more in ISBNs and coding (studies) I wanted to take a minute to write about yesterday's news. Yesterday was good news. The tests results concluded that there were NO metastases and NO new tumors! YEA!! My body is basically free of those pesky tumors and the ones in my lungs are about to be gone too. I can't say too much about this because I really won't know more until we hear from thoracic surgery. I hope to hear from them soon.... like in the next two weeks. After I am all healed from the lung surgeries, we will celebrate. I can't call it Cancer Free, but I can call it NED, which means no evidence of disease. Call it what you will, but that is pretty dang close to the same as cancer free. Knowing this is a long process; I still had to be reminded by Dr. Benjamin. This cancer is chronic, not acute. And because it is slow growing, they can't declare that it's gone just cause they don't see anything. That's okay. I will take the NED label. And I am still going to be smelling the roses along the way, taking it day by day, knowing that I will have a long amazing future ahead (with Sean, a family of our own...the works), but taking it one day at a time.
Will let you know more as I find out. Thank you so much for thinking of us this past week. Keep the faith and prayers coming.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Events continued

The machine for the bone scan looks like a donut. Or really more like the CT imaging machine. They have you lie down on the “conveyer belt” and it slides towards the machine. Then a screen comes down just over your face. As you slide back, you can see the monitor that shows your bones. That was pretty neat though I really had no idea what I was looking at. I could make out my bones of course, and everything looked fine to me. And though I am no doctor, I think (hope) Dr. B will say the same. The bone scan was easily uneventful which was nice, but the brain MRI was least enjoyable. The technician locked my head in a large helmet that looked more like a birdcage. Then he nicely (he really was very nice) tells me not to move, which is easy to - do that is until the machine clicks with other clicks and the whole thing starts to rattle your back and sides. I have never had an MRI like that before. It also had the usual clicks, but the plinking sounds were loud and rather piercing. Needless to say, I did not fall asleep this time. I just stayed in place the best I could for the next 45 minutes and thought about the massage I would be getting tomorrow. I just checked in for the CT scan. I got a bracelet upgrade as they say; one with a fancy picture on it…me. My drink of choice today is going to be mocha flavored. The nurse said that people are just raving about it. Frankly, I am tired of the berry/banana mix and happy to try something new. At least now I can pretend it is a Mod Freeze. It will be two bottles and two more hours before the actual scan so I am going to read chapter 13 in my book about Ethical issues and the collection. More exciting news to come later. SMILES!!

Events

Ryan drew my blood as I sipped my coffee in the soft green chase lounge. And I never even felt the prick of the needle. Really. We are at the Mays clinic for all of my morning scans and everything is a little newer and bigger over here. This afternoon, we will be back over at the main building. J I am sitting and waiting for my x-ray and decided to share about today’s scans since it will be a long day of scanning. Its been a while since I have had so many scans in a day and two of them are new for me….just when you think you have had them all…there are more machines here than shoes in my closet and that is saying a lot. Sean and I munched on bacon egg and cheese sandwiches (our fav here) and he is reading the Houston paper. I wonder if I can get him to do all of my school work for me today?? Just kidding – I am not sure if his idea of weeding a collection will be eggactly what my professor will be looking for.

I have been super nervous about this all week. I tried not to be, but hard to help that. I have just felt so great these past 7 weeks. A first in nearly 3 years and who wants to go back? The positive in me knows that I will only go forward. Forward. Surgery. Forward. Finish grad school. Forward….wait for stint to come out and or begin adoption process. Forward. Not backward. Not standstill. I want them to tell the next patient with ASPS that they have a cure now. I want that patient to know the side effects and know that they will be on something that works. I feel like that will happen; like that is happening. But I am still a bundle of nerves. But I am going to keep my head high, keep smiling, and sip my coffee.

And I will write more when I can today.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Falling into the news of it all

Well, we have made it. I stopped taking the chemo on September 26th. I didn't quite make it the full solid year, but I ran out early. No complaints there. However, stopping "cold turkey" style has its downfalls. Two major infections at the same time caused one trip to the Mda ER and 6 pills a day for a week. But I was already on the road to life without chemo. Before I knew it, my energy was coming back, the nausea was gone, the pain was gone, and I could eat and drink whatever I wanted without any chemo related repercussions. I have said this before - so easy to not notice what you have (even the little things) until its not an option anymore. I can't even begin to tell you...2 years of life with chemo vs. life without...I am not having to walk around on eggshells around myself. That may sound funny, but it is true. So that is what I had been doing for the last 7 or so weeks. Learning to experience life nearly cancer free and without chemo again. Just taking time for myself and my family. And those weeks have really flown by. Cause here we are already to this coming Friday. My exams start at 8am. I will be scanned and dosed and dosed and scanned all day with my last scan at 5pm. I have a chest x-ray, blood-work, bone dose, bone scan, brain MRI with and without contrast, prep for CT (which means a barium party) and then a scans for chest, abdomen and pelvis. Exhausting, yes, but we will hear great results on the following Monday and continue the steps forward. We will meet with Dr. B to go over the results. I am feeling and hoping to hear that all has continued to be great and to discuss my upcoming surgery. Surgery has tentatively been planned for Christmas holidays and should be fairly small. I am of course voting that they stick a TINY tube in and aspirate those little boogers left to be lingering in the right side of my lungs.
Waiting is always the hardest part.

Please keep those prayers coming. Though I am positively positive that the news will be great, I am still pretty nervous.

Carpe Diem!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

What is the Next Step?

Writing you was the first thing that I wanted to do, but finishing this semester (grad school), trying not to drown in lamination, and readying the library has consumed my moments of freedom. And I say that in a most happy, upbeat manner. I made 2 high A's this semester and even better, I learned so much neat stuff!! I love getting to laminate. Sounds funny, but as it comes out, I keep hearing this little voice in my head saying "look how shiny". I know, weird right? :) We lost our aids for the district this year. Perfect timing for a brand new librarian, but then there is that amazing support group that is out there not letting me fall. Thank you Clare for letting me call you way too much! I know I will be great at this, but I am still nervous.
I had testing and results on Tuesday at Mda. And as I said before, I knew I would continue to hear wonderful positive things. Dr. Benjamin is pleased with what he continues to see from this chemo and so for the first time in a year, I will stop taking the chemo. That happens on October 1st. Wow, right!! I have been on Sutent for nearly 2 years and I will have been taking it every day (no breaks) at the time that I stop. You can bet that I am looking forward to days that I am not experiencing constant hand and feet cramps and 'Charlie Horses' in my abdomen that seem to go on forever. I look forward to not being sick all the time with nausea and other things. I look forward to being able to chew my vegetables and not drink them through a straw. I'm excited to gain my energy back so that I have time to see friends too along with my studies, family, and work. I know you think I am busy already, but that is my personality. I never was the type to sit around for any period of a time.
So after I stop taking the chemo, I can't go crazy. I will have extensive tests (bone scan, brain MRI, CT -chest, abdomen, pelvis) 6 weeks after. If Dr. B is pleased (AND HE WILL BE) with the fact that there will be no sign of growth in my tumors or any new tumors, then we will begin discussing surgery to remove what is left in my lungs.
I won't know exactly what he plans to do until after we meet with him in mid November.

Your prayers and positive thinking is working! Keep the prayers coming, please. Thank you so much for your continued support.

Carpe Diem!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Summer Heat, Summer School, Summer News


So much going on and so little time......
I have been busy busy busy....will that ever stop...hmmm.....probably not. :)

First things first...I meant to get back on here and tell you that our team, Positivity is Power, raised $6,212.16!!! Wow!! Please let me thank you again, for if it weren't for you....you made this happen. Thank you!

So what has happened since the last time I posted?
My brother married his kindergarten sweetheart. It really is like a fairytale with a most happy ending. They are in Spain for the summer and though I know they are well and happy, I miss them so very much. Along with that, I got to spend the most fabulous wedding weekend (aside from my own wedding of course) with my other brother, Nick, and his wife Rachel and my sister, Janelle. If you are wondering where these two sibling popped up....Remember that Andy and I were adopted. Nick and Janelle and Andy and I have the same birth mom. No, I don't know her (my choice), but I do get to share my time with them and I count my blessings for that. I am hoping to see them all again this summer. One weekend wasn't enough time. I miss them a lot!
I accepted the library position at my elementary school and was accepted into the UNT masters program for library sciences. HUGE I know! I am so very excited about this. I started classes yesterday and was feeling a little overwhelmed because they are all online, but there is such great communication already between the teacher and students that I feel much better today. I had to start another blog post for school on my blog. Throughout the course I will have certain questions to answer. The first question was about technology...wow...just how much I don't know yet amazes me. Always learning! I had also learned recently that adopted kiddos in Texas (there are some special circumstances for this) can attend Texas colleges for free. All I need is a copy of my adoption papers.....hmmm....where are those adoption papers? I have a very good friend at the court house helping me with this and I really hope they can find them. College for free would be the icing on this already perfectly delicious cake.
I also started my art camp today. We had so much fun. I had taken them to the Museum of Fine Arts to gallery sketch. They kept saying I was a great tour guide. So sweet!
Hmmmmm...what else? I am still fighting and beating this cancer!!! WHOOO-HOOOO! I see Dr. Benjamin in August for testing and results. And I am sure that I will continue to hear the most positive news. Keep saying those prayers! I can really feel them.

Carpe Diem!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The First of Many Toasts

Are you sitting down? You aren't driving while trying to read this on your iphone are ya? You need to pull over. You need to be sitting down. Don't hold anything breakable. Don't....oh okay I will get to the news now. I have the most happy news to report!! I had tests this morning at MD Anderson and we met with Dr. B after. He said that everything still looked good.....
The news gets better....
It has been a year and a half of Sutent (chemo) so Dr. B went back and compared how my tumors in my lungs looked from then to now. AND HE SAID.............
MOST OF THEM ARE GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I said...most of them - how many were there? More than 3 he answered, but only three were significant. Then he said of the few left, that they showed signs of shrinking and and a couple had only changed shape (which is not a bad thing). This is the first time that I have heard officially that the Sutent was working. And though I knew the words "Cancer-Free" were in my future, I have a better time line now. The tentative plan is to continue the chemo daily for at least another year and then if he is still very pleased, then they will remove what is left out of my right lung. I am so excited!! Naturally! And I bet you are just bouncing up and down in your seat as you read this too. Peeps, your prayers are being answered. If you can remember what Dr. B first told me about having/raising children, then you will know how important this next question I asked him was. I asked if this meant that I could have/raise children when I was near 40. AND HE SAID maybe even before then. YIPPEE!!! This proves what I have believed in all along....that I would get to be a mommy and that I would live to see their children grow up too.
I know there is still a pretty lengthy road ahead of us, but this news was like getting a brand new car to get us to that finish line.
Even better, I don't have to go back until August. He has asked me to keep watching the nose bleeds and I am going to be logging it down in a journal. And as long as I can continue through the other fun side-effects, I can stay on the medicine. That is great news too, because each break makes it harder for them to see what the tumors are doing. And I want them to have the best information I can give them.
Did I mention how super all of this this is!!
Thank you for not giving up, for not giving in, for not letting go. After all....POSITIVITY IS POWER.
Speaking of...Relay rocked and I will be writing again once I get the results at our last team captain's meeting on Tuesday. So tune in for more marvelous news to come.

Monday, March 8, 2010

The End Result

I'm a little late these days on writing....hopefully you have already heard that my results from my last tests were fine. I really didn't hear anything different. And we all know no news is good news!! I am content with this. Though no exact date has been given yet, I will be back at MDA in April for new tests.
I want to be cured so to speak and move on as much as you want me to also, but please be patient and understand that the time for that is in my future. I can't tell you when it is, but it's there. We will get there!

Thank you so very much for donating to the American Cancer Society!! I am excited about Relaying for you, me, and so many others on April 30th. If you want to come join me for a lap or 2 come on out!! Please visit the Galveston site when you can at when you can. Our team name is Positivity is Power. I am feeling the positively positive power!!

Carpe Diem!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Resting. Healing. Smiling.


Today has been a good day. I didn't have art classes because it is Mardi Gras, but I think the day of rest (if you can call it that) has been good for this little person. I think my mind is so much stronger than my body and some days my legs just can't keep up. Funny how it works like that. I have spent the day at Mod Coffee Shop. I have made a little nest on this comfy green couch in the corner. I have graded my school papers and completed 2 art pieces. Not often that I take the time to sit in my favorite coffee shop and paint all day.

Time. Well that is something I have more of these days. And I have promised to not replace the availability of this time with anything. I had a tough decision to make last week. To let go of some extra curricular activities.... Easier said than done. I loved tutoring and I have been working with those students for over a year now. Health and healing being more important, I had to let it go. Not say good bye, just let it go for now. Not being able to take chemo breaks, my body has reached its limits. Resting. Healing. Smiling.

Relay for life is here!! I have been getting ready for the big day on April 30th. I have been raising money for the American Cancer Society. The total so far is $1615.00 that my team has raised!! I am so excited and truly thankful!!! You are helping me fight back. Thank you so much! If you haven't seen my page, please take a peek. Please join! Please donate!! I know times are harder this year, but the future is upon us and I see a light at the end of this tunnel. I'm going to make more birthdays. I relay for me. I relay for my family and my friends. I relay for the cure. Cancer doesn't sleep. So help me light the way through the dark today.
Visit www.relayforlife.org Team Positivity is Power

I have tests and results on the 22nd of this month. I am sure that while I won't hear much for change, it will remain to be a most positive outcome. The road to recovery is slow, but this turtle is going to make it to the finish line every time!!

Monday, January 18, 2010

A New Year of Birthdays

Happy New Years! New Years Resolution.....hmmmmmmm......keep living and smelling the roses....continue to take it day by day....I know I can think of others to do too, but I like these best.
I just spent an hour changing my page. Are you laughing? That's okay. I am proud that I remembered how to change it.
November and December were pretty eventful. I sold 7 pieces in my first Art Walk! That was fun. I learned a lot that day. I will do it again. In fact, I hope to sell more at the Evia Farmers Market. Mark your calendars for March 28th!!
I saw how the power of positivity and prayer can transform one's outlook when Michael collapsed during the San Antonio half marathon. What a fighter he is and continues to be. And not just him, all of you surrounding him fighting for him. And look at him now....every day is a positively new day for him.
Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all came and went. I enjoyed the food though I paid for that later since none of it was on my chemo diet, but it was worth it. Family, laughter, happiness, new and old loves all together. I feel so blessed to have the memories old and new in my heart and soul.
December 28th brought a new style of "hospital lounging". With Sean working that day, the initial panic of him wanting me to move the appointment so I wouldn't be alone...well I reminded him, I would never be alone. I have family all around me. All of you. So Jen, Joe, and Andy accompanied me. We brought along the game Sequence and Mexican Train Dominoes for this was going to be a long day. In the past 3 years, I have learned that I can really relax before going. I know that no matter what happens everything will be okay. He has a plan. And it DOES include me living. So rather than going to bed super early (I can sleep through every test and in between ya know)we all stayed up in Houston at Joe/Jen's aunt and uncle's. We roasted marshmallows and played Rockband until our fingers hurt from strumming and our sides hurt from laughing. Memories. Life is not fully lived if you forget to live in between.
The next day started at 7:15 with labs and an x-ray. Then we settled down by the white gazebo on the second floor.....where we remained for the next 12 hours. No puzzle working for us that day. We visited with others and I "braceleted" new friends. While I drank 2 bottles of barium (my berry/banana concoction), we played Sequence. We weren't loud, but we weren't quiet either and something you could hear from us that isn't so common there was our laughter. Happy to be together no matter how the new memories are made. Just happy to make them each day. I had chest/abdomen/pelvic CAT Scan and then I was off to......EAT!!! So hungry by that point. Then it was time for the MRI. Learned something new about that...Jennifer, who is practically my sister n law (always wanted her for a sister!!), was able to sit in the room with me. They gave her a pair of ear plugs and for the next 45 minutes she talked to me and would dance to the clicks. The test is broken down into several different scans of varying length, usually around 3 to 5 minutes each. The scans are very LOUD and rhythmic sounding. Each scan sounds somewhat different from all the others. They range in sound from a jackhammer, to loud buzzing, to high pitched sirens. Despite the intensity and variation of noise many patients fall asleep during the scan. Jennifer didn't believe that you could fall asleep during this but even she was out for a 5 minute interval. I am glad she was able to be apart of that with me. What an amazing experience.
At 4:15pm I checked in for my 5pm appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Benjamin. The lady at the desk gave me a buzzer like you get at restaurants and also wrote down my cell number. That way we could stay over at the gazebo area with its couches and sunlight and uncramped space...an area not full of people nervously awaiting results. At 8pm we still hadn't been seen. I had a funny feeling in my stomach and left the group to go check on things. When I got to the waiting area, the lights were off and no one was there. But I knew that Dr. B. and his nurse Mara would still be there. They never seemed to get out of there before 9pm. Too busy making miracles happen! I went to the back area (3 years and you get pretty comfy around there) and I found them. They had no idea....the lady at the counter never passed my number or buzzer info on to them. I don't think she will make that mistake again though. :)5 minutes later, we had our results. Everything looks fine he said. All organs are good and though I need to continue to watch any tummy issues and nose bleeds (thinning of the vessels) things are fine. He also said no chemo breaks. We had asked if I was to be on it every day of the year or if breaks would be good. He said no, no breaks. I can't tell you more. We don't know more. What we know is that he is still happy with what he sees, no matter how little the change appears to be each time. Though 3 years later, there is still no new growth. I am most happy about that. Because that means another birthday!!! Speaking of birthdays - Friday, April 30th is Galveston's Relay for Life event. The theme this year is Celebrating Birthdays!! I really really really want you to sign up to come. You can join my team, Positivity is Power, or create your own team. It really is so much fun. There is no training required for this. It is a night of fun, games, food, memories...and of course walking the track. The more people that sign up and come, the better the night will be. The more money we raise, the more lives we save. Did you know that 97% of your donations go to the American Cancer Society funding. Not to paychecks...not to events....not to travels...but to the CURE! No other organization can truthfully say that. Here is the link www.relay4life.org Once you are there, look up my team, Positivity is Power. Then click on the link "join". I have already raised $200.00!!!! Thank you Gabby, Kolby, Bobby and Cookie!! I am so excited!! And I am hoping to make it to my team goal of $3000.00. Please join me this year. Please help me stay awake all night. We relay at night because it's in our darkest hour that we feel the most alone, the most afraid. With all of you around, I am not alone nor am I afraid. So come, be with me. Help me fight to help me and so many others make it to another birthday.
February 22nd and 25th I will see the doctors again. More tests and my favorite.....a visit to the urologist for a stint exchange. Till then....
Carpe Diem!!





Saving...from a song and a dance for you

I know that I haven't blogged in a while and I have great stuff to share. I will soon.....perhaps today. I am saving old blogs right now. I had done this once before but then a "bug" entered our computer and "ate" all its memory this past summer. So I am saving it all again. Thank goodness for my space account or I would have lost them. And in the process I found this song I wrote. It's from the "Sound of Music" and I wrote it when I was on the Yondelis 47....that little Sea Urchin (chemo). 2007 seems so long ago. Three more birthdays I have had since then. And looking forward to the next. Carpe Diem!!

Valet parking and coffee and soft chairs for sitting

Puzzles and free mints and internet visiting

Dozens of doctors poking and prodding

These are a few of my favorite things

Aquariums everywhere and people in masses

Pain Meds and green gowns

And going to CVC classes

IV'S, wheelchairs, and machines with loud dings

These are a few of my favorite things

When the Nausea begins to peak

When the Nuelasta makes you weak

When the headaches make you go mad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad

Yummy dinners and phone calls and good company

Long and short visits of loving sympathy

Movies and flowers and warm blankets they bring

These are a few of my favorite things

More pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin'

Achy bones and sureness that my hair is thinnin'

And I won't mention my pale, shrunken frame

When I remember my favorite things

When the joints ache

When the tears break

When the tiredness appears on a whim

Then I remember the great life I have...


And then I don't feel so bad!!!!!!!!!