Thursday I awoke before 5am with a headache. Took two Darvon and went back to sleep. When I woke up about an hour later it was still there, but only a faint trace of it lingered. So I showered and went to work. I had my hair pulled back...as I always do. Its at that weird growing back stage and that can be pretty annoying at times. My headache was getting worse as the morning moved on. I thought it was just the pony tail so I took the band out. When I went to the school nurse to have my daily Blood pressure reading and temp, it was pretty high. By the time my husband came to get me (its a wonder how he didn't get a speeding ticket) my BP had reached 170/110 and my head was pounding worse than I had ever felt in my life! So off to the ER we went.
We went to the Mainland ER. Sean was concerned that MD Anderson was too far away at this point. They took my BP and whew!! It was 206/126. Nope, not good. I told them I was on Chemo and that this was listed as a common side-effect. I am on BP medicine, but the dosage is very low. They gave me demmorrall (spell check that) and phenogren. Instantly my Migraine was going away and my BP went down. They did a CT Scan and an x-ray and all came back fine. I left with instructions to rest over the next couple of days. I have put in a call to Dr. Benjamin's office about raising my BP medicine and the pharmacist suggested that I take one pill in the am along with the one a take at night so that I am at least getting 20mg. What a scary day. And what a head-ache. I have since spoken to Dr. Benjamin and he increased the dosage. He said to really watch my BP for 48 hours and to call him right away if it doesn't go down.
I will keep you updated. Just continue those prayers.

This IS working!! Still visualizing the Sutent to be attacking the tumors.
I also ordered new bracelets. They are pretty close to the same as the ones before, but I got the band to be blue and the phrase to glow so that the band doesn't loose its "luster" so to speak. The phrase Positivity is Power glows in the dark. Why does is glow? Because....in your darkest hour....read those words and know that you are not ever going to be alone in the dark. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how deep that tunnel can get. Always a light. I am selling them for $2. All proceeds go to the Sarcoma Foundation. Please help. I have small, medium, and large. PLEASE help the foundation.

Feeling

Some days are good and some days are not so good. Yesterday was not so good, but today is better. I am 14 days into my Sutent. Still visualizing the attack against my tumors. Yesterday was a day of nausea amongst other things but today is better. You know that feeling you get after you have been feeling so sick and all of a sudden you feel better??? I have that feeling now. Its almost like a high that you get....full of peace and happiness. I can relax. I am happy. I don't like how sad I feel when the medicine makes me feel sick that day. Only 13 more days!!!

I am thankful for my team at school....not just my amazing 1st grade team, but my whole team. I don't know what I would do if they didn't look out for me! I am thankful for my mommy in law who sent me one of those funny snuggly things that you have being seeing on those info-mercials lately. Its pretty cool......and snuggly. I am thankful for my dad who keeps calling me to make sure I am okay and that I am checking my blood-pressure daily. I am thankful that the school nurse does that for me!!! Go Mary! I am thankful for my "back-yard" neighbor for whom I have no idea what I would do without her love and kindness. Her boyfriend is pretty amazing too...he even washed my car the other day! And lastly....Sean. He is doing well. He is having to put up with me. He does so well with the days of ups and downs. He is truly amazing. He makes me laugh. He makes me eat. He makes sure I take my medicine. He checks on me all the time just to make sure I am alive and kicking. He makes me feel loved.

Carpe Diem! Go out there and hug that person that you have been meaning to hug.

The ZZZZZZZ's

It is almost 2pm. I think the day has strolled along and I can't think of the last time that I was so tired. Baaaam!!! So chemo has finally begun its toll. I am watching as our aid helps with the students. Its loud in here, but incredible. They are learning about the difference (subtraction) as they play banker. I should be so excited, but I am so tired. At this point I am tired of being tired....and its no where close to "hitting the hay" time! I have felt the nausea off and on too, but for the most part, it has been ok.
I know I can keep this up. It is worth it as I continue to visualize the Sutent attacking the tumors. Did I mention that the tumors no longer have names? A sweet friend of mine said that in naming them, you give energy - existence - power. No way are these guys getting anymore of that!!

Tired But Going Strong Into Day 2 1/2

Wow! So I feel better than I thought I would. I am pretty fatigued and have a horrible headache, but I am at work right now and feeling pretty strong. I am even remembering to drink lots of water, eat often, and stay moisturized/hydrated. Compared to other things, this is pretty simple and quite preventative. I am visualizing the Sutent to be attacking the blood vessels that are feeding into the tumors.

Sutent in the Mail

Who knew that chemo could be delivered in the mail? I started Sutent last night. Its a red and gray capsule. It was very surreal taking it that way. It seems to lesson the blow....the fear....but in the back of my mind I know - it's still chemo. Though this time it will be the cure. I was confused as you are probably now when Caremark (pharmacy that my insurance uses) called. Dr. Benjamin had figured that we would not be starting until late January because we were waiting on approval from my insurance. Each round last 28 days. I take one pill a day. Cost? Just over $8,000. Thank goodness my copay is only $35. There isn't much that the doctors know about the true side effects from this chemo. They know that it may increase my blood pressure, make me tired/fatigued, nauseous, and that I have to stay away from grapefruit products. Basically, a bland diet and lots of water. I also can't touch hot water. Sean is changing the temp gage on the heater for me. So how do I feel? Okay so far. Since it can make you tired and and nauseous we decided to start last night as opposed to this morning. I slept fine and I feel fine. I do have medicine that I am taking to keep any unforeseen nausea under control. So each night I will take yet another pill. I finish this cycle on the 22nd and we will see Dr. Benjamin on the 29th instead of the 5th. Speaking of that date....I will be seeing more doctors on that day in Feb. about my stint and my previous surgery. On a side note: I have been thinking about my New Years Resolutions. I don't have any yet, but I know that I need to do something about my phone and email. I haven't been great about returning mail or calls since Ike. But I think of you and I know that I owe you a call or better - a visit.