Stopping and Starting

Over the last couple of months, I have probably sat down to write no less than 9 times. But I either felt like I had nothing to say or that I had so much to say and not enough time or energy to write it. Now I feel like I have plenty to say....Those of you that know me pretty well know that if you haven't heard from me that I am doing well. Really, its not much different from you...if you aren't calling me regularly or popping into my classroom...if you don't work right across the hall from me....you aren't going to know all the nitty gritty details. Those details are small ones. I am still feeling so blessed. So what that ALLLLLLLL of my hair turned white. We dyed it. I can't eat much at one time or anything spicy, acidic, must be careful, blah, blah, blah. And I am a master of fatigue and nausea most days. And I guess I'm going to sit in front of a special light for the rest of my life so that my skin will feel healed. If that's it....I can handle it, and good thing too since Dr. B says I'm likely to be on this chemo for a long time. Long time....I thought he meant a year or 5. No, he means a long time. So I am not going to think about more than five years from now. I can't stroll through life focusing on five years from now when tomorrow can change everything. Day by day. Day by day, I say. Dr. B doesn't actually know how long I'll be on this. I just pray each day that it is working and that it continues to work. I honestly don't care as long as it does and I get to live well past retirement. Remember, I have plans. I want children (PLEASE call me and I'll come play with yours!!! I love them!) I want grandchildren, I want to see my friend's kids grow up. I am getting ready to be an Aunt and I want to see this little munchkin get married, have children too. I want to enjoy my teacher retirement....darn it they take enough out of my salary each month as it is. :) So, a long time on chemo = a lot more memories. Interesting, I am wearing my survivor shirt that I got from Relay today. That's good I think. I need to tell you about Relay for Life (how it went) and about camp.
Let me first say that I am feeling like a survivor every day. And I started what we created to be Round 3 last night. So far, I have been on chemo for 2 months at a time with 2 week breaks in between. Dr. B said I can't just stay on it, that my body has to heal some. My white blood cell count was 2.2, so we stopped to take a break. Worked out fine since I had literally run out of chemo and had spent the past two weeks working on getting it. See with the very first chemo that I was on nearly two years ago, I saw Dr. B before I actually took my chemo and I took it there (remember chemo in a bag girl). But now since it comes in the mail (go UPS), it's different. I don't see him before each dose. And they are so busy over there, naturally, that its hard to connect at times. Ok, and I am super busy too. :) I don't have another doctor appointment until July 6th. It's been a month since my last one and all that was said, I already mentioned above. I did also see plastic surgery and I got my "graduation papers", though I might go back and have fat taken out from another area (don't try to donate, I have plenty) and injected on my right side. My skin is pretty thin along that incision and I often have pain from clothes rubbing it wrong and what not. But I am still thinking about it so we will see.
Ok, RELAY FOR LIFE WAS A HIT!!!! Funny how it rained everywhere but at Moody that night. So a lot of people didn't make it and some people there had to leave, but over all, I had a blast. Our team alone raised over $2,000!!!!!! GO TEAM!!!!!! And I can't wait for next year already! I do think that a lot of people didn't know about this, so I plan to do my part in helping make sure that everyone knows more about what it entails and just how much fun (I danced the night away with my goofy steps and even won musical chairs at 3am...though I think the kid was too afraid of knocking me down and let me win, hee hee!) it is. It is amazing to see how many lives are touched by cancer in one way or another. It is amazing to see how everyone comes together under the stars and Relays. Relays for more birthdays to be had, Relays for cures, Relays for my life, your life, their life. Mark your calendars...it will be in April next year. Actual date? I'll let you know when I find out.
For now, I must go...I need to take out my famous WS Banana Nut Bread from the oven and then go meet a student for his tutoring session. But I'll be back....today. And I will tell you all about Rainbow Camp. I get to volunteer as a counselor for the cancer kids at UTMB. There they get to be a kid, just a kid having a blast at camp. It's my first time and I can't wait....look I am already rambling on about this. I really must go. I can smell the bread calling my name!!
Carpe Diem!!
Positivity is Power! ALWAYS!!!