Events

Ryan drew my blood as I sipped my coffee in the soft green chase lounge. And I never even felt the prick of the needle. Really. We are at the Mays clinic for all of my morning scans and everything is a little newer and bigger over here. This afternoon, we will be back over at the main building. J I am sitting and waiting for my x-ray and decided to share about today’s scans since it will be a long day of scanning. Its been a while since I have had so many scans in a day and two of them are new for me….just when you think you have had them all…there are more machines here than shoes in my closet and that is saying a lot. Sean and I munched on bacon egg and cheese sandwiches (our fav here) and he is reading the Houston paper. I wonder if I can get him to do all of my school work for me today?? Just kidding – I am not sure if his idea of weeding a collection will be eggactly what my professor will be looking for.

I have been super nervous about this all week. I tried not to be, but hard to help that. I have just felt so great these past 7 weeks. A first in nearly 3 years and who wants to go back? The positive in me knows that I will only go forward. Forward. Surgery. Forward. Finish grad school. Forward….wait for stint to come out and or begin adoption process. Forward. Not backward. Not standstill. I want them to tell the next patient with ASPS that they have a cure now. I want that patient to know the side effects and know that they will be on something that works. I feel like that will happen; like that is happening. But I am still a bundle of nerves. But I am going to keep my head high, keep smiling, and sip my coffee.

And I will write more when I can today.

Beginnings

So a new year will bring new beginnings for me. New Chemo that is. You can say that 500 more times and it isn't going to make me any more ready than I am right now. Fear? Check. Unsure? Check. Ready? Check. I hardly know anything about the process and the effects, but I am ready. After all...I told God that he could have two years of my time, but then he had to give it back. March 17th will be 2 years. It is called Sutent (sunitinib). It is a pill that I will take daily so that's pretty cool. No catheter means I can stand upright when I shower and we won't have to clean it all the time either. Their main concern is my blood pressure. This medicine will attack the veins around my tumors in my lungs. I am am on a small dosage of blood pressure med now. They will increase the dosage once I start on Sutent. There are more possible side effects, yes, but we are just going to wait and see. I do better not focusing on all of the "what-ifs". Jan 6th. That day we will meet with my oncologist, Dr. Benjamin to get more information. I feel like I have so much more that I want to say though I am really not in the mood to write at this moment. It is cold down here in my "office" and I am hungry. Feeling? Happy to have finally started this blog on blog spot. Excited for my brother to be coming in just 2 more days. Elated that my Uncle called and invited us to go skiing in Tahoe in March. Nervous that my oncologist will say no to skiing and to Tahoe. Lucky. Simply lucky. Lucky in love. Lucky to be loved my my husband, family, friends.